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Writer's pictureMichael Matouk

Finding a therapist that is right for you

Updated: Aug 28

Here is a topic that seems to be a stumbling block for a lot of people who are looking for a therapist and either don't know where to start; don't know what makes a good fit; or they simply don't know how to find a new therapist.  Indeed, finding a good therapist can sometimes be a challenge, however if you spend some time doing a little investigative work, it will undoubtedly translate to time very well-spent.  


First, allow me to “bottom-line” you:  The “right fit’ between a therapist and a client is the most important factor in the therapeutic process. There could be a psychotherapist who technically employs all the "standard" treatment approaches, but if you don't feel a connection to them, it will be more difficult trusting them and optimizing your time with them.   But there is more than meets the eye when it comes to the key elements of “What makes a good fit?”  This issue is a bit more complex. Maybe not as complex as “the ‘chemistry’ that attracts perspective mates to one another?”  But something like that. 


Therapists are people, and people, and their personalities, have a way of complimenting each other – and sometimes not so much.  Perhaps they subconsciously remind you of someone-someone who you absolutely detest.  People have natural preferences-call it personal taste- for every type of thing. When two or more individual's preferences compliment each other, they match up, this constitutes a “good fit.” If you have a best friend, you likely share a number of features with them that draw you to each other. If you have multiple children, while you would never admit it publicly, it's highly likely that you seem to "click" and get along with one of your children better than the others. That doesn’t mean you love the others less, but you may feel that “she and I just ‘get each other’ more."   You know many people with who you just '"click," and others much less so.   It’s not much different when it comes to your complimentarity-your fit-with a psychotherapist.  Once you find someone who is qualified, try to match up to their personality, their approach, how they talk to you, what you find appealing or respectable in them, or what irritates you about them and what it is about them you find annoying.  So sometimes, a therapist just may have a style that doesn’t sit right with a client and we can say that the “fit” is a poor one. Move on. 


So, what do you look for-a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, or …:? There are many terms here that refer to mental health professionals.  Some of the better-known mental health professionals include: Psychologist, psychiatrist, licensed social worker, marriage and family therapist, licensed professional counselor, psychiatric social worker, psychiatric nurse, and the list goes on.  Each of these licensed professionals have their own educational and clinical requirements that must be fulfilled in order to them obtain licensure and work with people seeking mental health help. To go into the differences between each of them is beyond the scope of this article.  


Noteworthy:   You should note that the term “psychotherapist” is a generic rather than professional term and has no particular legal or professional identity.   You can call yourself a psychotherapist (inadvisable, although you may be very good at it), and sometimes the term psychotherapist could be used when a practitioner does not possess the educational or clinical qualifications for licensure in a given profession.


The issue really is: Does a given clinician's professional identity make them more qualified (or unqualified), or worse yet dangerous?  As it is with seeking any professional, it is highly advisable and plain good judgment to educate yourself with regard to a prospective clinician’s qualifications.  Ultimately, entrusting your well-being to a professional for potentially challenging and sensitive matters, it is wise to ensure that you are under the care of a regulated industry professional, as a sort of insurance policy that they have the necessary qualifications to treat the type of people they are seeing in therapy.  


What is it you should be looking for?   While there are several different factors that all come into play when looking for a therapist, there are also some surprises that I may be able to share with you.  Let’s start with some of the more obvious:


1.       Credentials

Does a persons credentials determine how qualified and thus, how effective that person will be in the therapeutic process? That is, does their specific degree matter, and is there a relationship between their degree and their competence to treat you?   I can speak with some credibility to this issue. It seems intuitive that the more advanced degrees one has, the more effective they would be to provide clinical care.  More education = greater competence. Except that an academic degree doesn’t really constitute the bottom line here.  The reality is that, while the degree may qualify a practitioner to legally treat a person, the degree itself is often secondary to what people find to be the most effective and valuable qualities of a psychotherapist.  Which qualities do factor into a good therapist?  And what does make a good therapist? Read on.


2.     Specialty areas

How about their area of specialty?  Do I seek someone whose practice specializes in a particular type of problem, particularly an area for which the client is seeking help?  What is the practitioner's experience in treating those type of clients?  If I find someone who specializes in “eating disorders”, does that guarantee that they will be good to treat eating disorders?  Or how about cutting behaviors? To note, there are certainly a great number of areas of specialization for the clinician: addiction, eating disorders, chronic pain, neuropsychology, relationships, severe mental illness (psychoses), dual-diagnoses (mental illess + addictions), marriage and family, etc?   For some types of problems, it is essential that the clinician have a background in the type of treatment for which you are seeking help.  How can you know that? Clinicians will tell you what areas they specialize in if you ask them.  I think that most of them will be forthright with what they do well. During my career I was often criticized for “over specializing,” and not accepting a wider variety of patients with different clinical issues.  Call me Mr. Cautious.  No, I just stayed in my comfort area and worked with people whose problems were the things I’m good at.  Again, you can ask, family/primary care physicians, or you can call well-established psychologists in your area who likely will know “who is good at what” in the area.  

  • Patients with history of addiction? Seek a therapist who specializes in addiction and dual diagnosis (often in conjunction with a physician practicing addiction medicine)

  • Patient History of trauma? Find a trauma-informed therapist who specializes in techniques that specifically help process trauma. EMDR and brain-spotting are newer techniques for trauma. Check them out.  

  • A patient with relationship issues?  They should find a therapist who specializes in relationships. The Gottman model is among the highest standards of care, and a Gottman certified therapists might be a good start.

  • A patient with issues related to physical intimacy and sex? Find a therapist who is certified in sex therapy.

  • A patient with postpartum anxiety or depression? Find a therapist who is experienced in this field.


Another relevant issue may be the length of experience.  How long have they have been in practice?  The knowledge base in behavioral health generally evolves, and a professional who specializes and has great experience may be more valuable for certain issues than one who’s just starting out in practice.  Of course there are excellent practitioners who are newer and less experienced as well.  It is common for diligent newer clinicians to receive supervision from older, more seasoned clinicians.


3.     OBTAIN REFERRAL SOURCES:

Many people feel comfortable obtaining a referral from their primary care physician, who typically has some insight into local mental health resources.  However, if your family physician is uncertain, you can often seek out a qualified mental health professional-based on the recommendation of another reputable source, such as a hospital or a university who usually has a counseling department and has within its reach professionals within the community.


As you can already see, the question is more complex, given the number of individual factors you might have to consider.  Regardless of what degree or special training may have, choosing the appropriate therapist is a very personal decision.  If interested in obtaining psychotherapy, you might think of your first session as a kind of “audition” whereby you are self-assessing your level of comfort and confidence in the therapist.  Trust your own instincts!

To schedule your first appointment (my audition), please call 941-239-3045  An initial screening will be done via the phone.


If we feel compatibility with one another and I believe that I am able to help you, the appointment will be scheduled.  If I am unable to help you, I will attempt to assist you in finding a therapist who can help.

 

 

 

 

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